How would you compare a tulip to a rose?
When I think of a tulip I think of spring, new beginnings, and the bed of tulips that bloom year after year under my parents’ bedroom window.
What comes to mind when you think of a tulip?
When I think of a rose I think of love, Valentines Day, anniversaries, and romantic date nights.
What comes to mind when you think of a rose?
Not one thought that comes to my mind about either flower is about appearance.
Rather, the thoughts that come to my mind are feelings or events that I have associated with the particular flower.
I don’t compare which has the better colour, the prettier petals, or the more pleasant fragrance. I wouldn’t even begin to compare these two flowers because each flower is unique and there is no proof to say that one is better, prettier, or more pleasant smelling than the other.
Would you be able to say which flower is prettier than the other?
Sure, you may have an opinion on which you like better, but your reason for preferring one flower over another is most likely not because you think one is prettier than the other. It’s simply just your personal opinion.
Since we are not able to say exactly which flower is prettier than the other, why are we so quick to look at others and think that they are prettier than ourselves?
I do not focus on the appearance of flowers rather the feelings I have associated with them, so why do we assume everyone around us is focusing on our outer appearance rather than what is on the inside and what we have to offer the world?
Three years ago, I compared myself to others on a daily basis and it only led me to feeling discouraged and self conscious about myself.
I thought everyone was better looking than me, smarter than me, and more capable than me.
I was battling with comparing myself to others on an hourly basis and I knew something had to be done about it in order for me to be happy and confident with who I was, so I confided in my psychologist, Bryan, from the Westwind Eating Disorder Recovery Centre. I have mentioned my psychologist many times throughout the time I have been blogging; he is an extraordinary man who truly understands eating disorders and I would recommend his help to anyone seeking recovery.
When I told Bryan about the struggles I was having with comparing myself to others he told me to compare a tulip to rose.
Immediately, I was struck by his suggestion because I couldn’t compare a tulip to a rose. They are two completely different flowers and when he asked me to tell him which flower was the “prettier, more beautiful flower” I could not.
Both of them are beautiful in their own way.
I hope you are able to see that you and I are the same as the tulip and the rose used in my example.
I am no better than you nor are you better than me.
There is no proof saying that I am prettier than you nor is there any proof saying that you are prettier than me.
A tulip is more cup shaped than a rose, but does that make a tulip more beautiful?
A rose grows as shrub producing many flowers, but a tulip bulb that is planted will only produce a single flower. Does this make a rose superior to a tulip?
The answer is, no.
Just because you may have broader shoulders than the person next to you does not make you better or worse than them.
Just because the pace you run on the treadmill is 0.2 mph slower than the person running beside you does not make you less worthy than them in any way.
I want you to start thinking of yourself as a flower. You are beautiful in your own way and others do not compare you to the others “flowers” in the world.
No one is judging your petals to the flower sitting next to you because they are both unique and there is no evidence to say that one is better looking than the other.
Be proud of the petals you have and appreciate your uniqueness because, surprisingly, everyone who you think is judging you is not, so you shouldn’t be judging yourself either.
Exhibit confidence in your own petals and people will begin to notice your inner beauty and all of the wonderful things you are able to offer the world.
As always, if you are struggling and need someone to talk to feel free to email me. I wrote this post because I know how common the battle with comparing ourselves to others is and a few of my very close friends are currently struggling with this issue.
I love helping others and if you have an issue that you would like me to write a post about do not hesitate to ask <3