What Would I Say to a Best Friend?

by Meg on December 11, 2012

Confidence.

Something I've struggled with for many years…

Something I've gained over the years that I've lived in London…

Something that I have one day and not the next…

Confidence is something that I really need to work on right now

Even though I am confident in many different areas of my life, I desperately lack confidence when it comes to my schooling and studies. 

I'm confident when speaking in front of crowds…

I'm confident when meeting new people and introducing myself for the very first time…

I'm confident in my cooking skills…

I'm confident in the gym when I'm lifting more than I weigh…

So why can't I be confident when it comes to school?

The thing is, is that I can be confident when it comes to school… I'm just doubting myself.

Not trusting myself like I should. 

Right now, I'm experiencing a lack of motivation to study. I even have thoughts hovering around the idea that "this is too hard for me." But, when I think about it, I know that thought is wrong. 

I am capable of anything I put my mind to.

I've been through a lot over the past 21 years and I've succeeded a lot, too. 

When speaking to my Mom recently about my struggles and doubts regarding my studies, I realized that I am not telling myself loving words that I would tell a friend. Instead, I was being untruthful to myself and putting myself down. 

I would never talk to a friend the way I was talking to myself.

So I broke it down for myself… How would I speak to a best friend? What would I say to them if they were doubting themselves? 

Since this discovery, I've been a lot more motivated when it comes to studying. I've also been more confident in all areas of my life. 

Speak to yourself like you would a best friend. 

Don't beat yourself up. You deserve the exact same kind, loving words that you would pay to a friend. 

Even though you may not feel like you are "good enough" or "deserve" success, you do. 

So, be confident in yourself because life is much better if you live in confidence. 

Do you ever doubt yourself? 

Do you find yourself speaking negative words to yourself rather than loving, kind words? 

Love always,

Meg xo

P.s. please submit your high fives to me at adashofmeg@gmail.com. I have one submission so far, but am waiting for more! Keep them coming!! :) 
For more information please read the High Five Friday page! Thank you!

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

GOtheXtraMile December 11, 2012 at 7:23 AM

Great post, Meg!! Love it. It's so true!

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cottercrunch December 11, 2012 at 7:30 AM

oh friend, you sound like me when i was in college. It was the only area i struggled with too and i let the pressure get to me. You are so wise to recognize it now and take YOUR own advice. Hugs.

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Lucie December 11, 2012 at 7:45 AM

Love that post! The approach, to think about what you tell a friend is just SO good and eyes opening. You can be so proud for being confident again at school cause you CAN be!! I doubt myself a LOT in many different areas. When I feel that I start to beat myself with negative words, I try to meditate and get distanced from the war in my head. 

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Julie @ twosaucysisters December 11, 2012 at 8:07 AM

Meg I adore this post! I often lack confidence in more than one area- my school and my running. I am my biggest critic and am so hard on myself! I'm going to think about this post now whenever I am working, studying, training and racing. Thanks for such a wonderful post! :)

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Brittany@twosaucysisters December 11, 2012 at 8:08 AM

This is so fantastic, Meg!  And it couldn't come at a better time for me!  There are a few areas in my life (including school!) where I am struggling with confidence, and the idea of speaking to yourself as if you were talking to a friend is wonderful- I am going to try doing this from now on!

Thanks so much for the fantastic idea!

xoxox

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Linz @ Itz Linz December 11, 2012 at 8:21 AM

such a great post and SO true! what an awesome way to think about it – give advice to a friend then take it for yourself! :)

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Michelle @ Eat Move Balance December 11, 2012 at 8:29 AM

What a great post, Meg.  Confidence is a quality that isn't mentioned as much as others, but is oh-so-powerful.  And it's not the easiest quality to develop and embrace–so this was a great post to urge us to reconsider growing in this area.  Thanks!

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Megan @ runningonajava December 11, 2012 at 8:33 AM

I love this! I also doubt myself in school when I'm confident in so many other areas in life. I truly believe confidence goes a long way. I'll be thinking of those quotes and sending you confidence as you finish up school :) 

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Kierston December 11, 2012 at 8:59 AM

Great post Meg! Good for you for taking the time to reflect on this and to learn from it! You are strong and confident! Most importantly, you are capable of achieving anything you put your mind to! xoxo

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Danielle @ Clean Food Creative Fitness December 11, 2012 at 9:17 AM

What a great post Meg! Confidence is something I struggle with myself in ways other than school and I agree with your theory. I would never ever talk to a friend the way I speak to myself, so why is it okay to talk to me like that? Keep working on your confidence Meg! I know you are perfectly smart and capable of conquering school! Keep that chin up! 

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Kaitlin @4loveofcarrots December 11, 2012 at 9:20 AM

I love this post! This is so true and something I need to remind myself of often! I am my biggest critic and need to learn to give myself positive affirmations rather then negative ones

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Molly @ Happy&Healthy December 11, 2012 at 9:21 AM

Amazing post and message! I need to work on building confidence in many areas of my life, and thinking of what I would say to a good friend really puts how I talk to myself in perspective.Thanks for this reminder!

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Brittany @ Delights and Delectables December 11, 2012 at 9:32 AM

Oh girl!!  I have full confidence in you pertaining to your school!!!  I struggle with confidence in other areas, but that is what friends and family are for.  We are there to lift you up!

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Caitlin December 11, 2012 at 10:42 AM

I have REALLY been using this same trick to help me when I am being down on myself! We should always be kind to others so why not be kind and encouraging to ourselves? I have the opposite problem right now – I am confident in all areas like school and work. But when it comes to my appearance, fitness, I am not confident. I'm not kind to myself and don't have faith that I am doing my best and doing a good job. But I try to tell myself – would you EVER be that hard on someone else? No! So I applaud you for doing a post that so many can relate to, babe. I think that the trick to be kind to yourself by thinking of yourself as your best friend will help so many like it's helping you!

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Lisa December 11, 2012 at 11:11 AM

I love this, because it's something I once struggled with too. Big time. Now I look at it like how would I talk to my inner child. If I were a 5 year old, would I treat myself with the same words. I don't want to treat the little girl inside of my horrible and that always changes my thoughts and beliefs. Confidence is so important to have in ourselves. And this post makes me happy! Love you. Hope you got my e-mail:)

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Siobhan McCarthy.ca December 11, 2012 at 12:15 PM

I love this post. Confidence is so important in all aspects of life. I find that sometimes I am just too hard on myself and if I don't do something perfectly, I get frustrated. But realistically, if I have the confidence that I can do a skill, I'm sure I can. Great reminder, Meg!

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Ellie@Fit for the Soul December 11, 2012 at 12:47 PM

Omgsh Meg!  Is this a God-thing or something? haha.  It's like you and I are going through the SAME EXACT train of thought!  As a matter of fact, just last night I had crazy dreams about vulnerability+schooling, which I think stem from my lack of confidence in studies.  I have to admit that I've always been the least confident in school because of past childhood issues (teachers in some countries can be abusive), but since I'm a grown individual and all, I know it's now only my responsibility to do my best and trust God.  But still, we all have some kind of "nuisance" or "thorn" in our side and the key is to just overcome it and have the right perspective of ourselves.  We are the ones who make the choice to move forward~  Thanks for talking about this girl!  And I have no doubt that soon you'll be like, "guess what guys!  I just passed ________ and will be working at _____!" or something of that nature, hehe.

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Mom December 11, 2012 at 1:59 PM

I love this post Meg! <3

I know it's in you Sweetie!

Love you,

Mom

xoxox

 

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Heather @ Better With Veggies December 11, 2012 at 3:38 PM

I love the idea of talking to yourself like you would a friend – what a great persective. Confidence is something I've struggled with more since I started my new job than normal. I think because I was so used to knowing everything and I absolutely don't now. Great reminder to amp up that positive self talk in that area!

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Miss Polkadot December 11, 2012 at 5:18 PM

What a great post, Meg! I'm sorry you've been struggling with not trusting in your own capabilities. I do so, too, and a LOT. It's almost funny how little I expect from others, how impressed I am by them. Whether they are acing in every area of life or a simply average – I like my friends just the way they are. Yet I have far higher, at times unachievable measures, for myself. Your post made me realize I should try to set more realistic goals and value myself for what I do achieve even if it's not a hundred percent perfect. Thanks for this!

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Corinne December 11, 2012 at 6:41 PM

Aww Meg, I'm sorry to hear that you have been struggling with this, but at the same time, it is through our struggles that we grow into stronger human beings. By practising being compassionate, honest and encouraging with yourself you're flexing your already strong muscles in new ways (already strong because you're great at showering friends with those qualities). I have also been trying to be more encouraging with myself when I look in the mirror or think about goals etc. and it definitely does help. xx

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Amanda @ Run Principessa December 11, 2012 at 6:52 PM

Meg, I cannot tell you how much I needed to read this post today. You are brilliant and I would LOVE to have you as a best friend. You just deserve the same thing. :)

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Meg December 15, 2012 at 10:33 PM

Aw!! Me as a best friend!? :D Let's meet some day ;) I know I WILL LOVE YOU

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purelymichelle December 11, 2012 at 8:13 PM

I could not agree with you more!! I struggle with self-confidence. I have never really ever believed in myself, and with my #findingme series on my blog I hope I come out on top. I hope I can confidence. I hope I can really learn to listen and trust myself. 

Thanks for this posts!

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Abby @ Abz 'n' Oats December 11, 2012 at 9:17 PM

Wonderful post sweetie! :) I really love the quote in the newspaper clipping looking picture. You are going to rock these last few days of school!

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TorontoRunner December 12, 2012 at 3:25 AM

I can compleeeeeeeeetely relate to this.

I wrote about this last month where I'm lacking a lot of confidence when it comes to work/my brain/my ability and that I AM good/smart enough to do my job. 

You'll get through it. Keep pushing.

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Leigh-Anne Naylor December 13, 2012 at 11:58 AM

Brilliant post!  This is me!  Well……. not anymore, I'm going to take your advice!

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Monika @ Fit Foodies. December 15, 2012 at 9:07 PM

Meg!! I am sorry I have been so MIA lately but I have been stalking all the posts I missed and I LOVE THEM. Still so proud of you and all that you share and everything that you write brings a smile to my face :)))

 

xoxo

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Meg December 15, 2012 at 10:32 PM

Awwww hunnie! I miss you too!!!!! <3 Let's catch up some time :)

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diet plans that work December 18, 2012 at 12:46 AM

I need to to thank you for this good read!! I
certainly loved every bit of it. I have got you saved as a favorite to look at new
stuff you post…

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Amanda @RunToTheFinish December 19, 2012 at 8:30 AM

such a beautiful post! I think we all go through this in different areas as we let the comparison trap or fear of failing hold us back. I'm choosing to know that even if I failed, at least I enjoyed trying!

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