01/24: Thankful Thursday & Weight Gain After Thoughts

Good morning, loves!

I hope you’re all having a great week so far and aren’t experiencing too chilly of weather. London is definitely experiencing winter this week and, to tell you the truth, I’m not loving it. I was very thankful for the spring-like temperatures we had last week, but these bone chilling temps? Not so thankful. But, I am thankful to be alive and healthy and, really, that’s all that matters, right?

Here’s what else I am thankful for this week!

Friday, January 18 – Having so many new High Five Friday participants! (P.s. please send me your high fives for tomorrow’s post! It’s the 50th celebration and I really want to make it big!)

Saturday, January 19 – My strength and determination during my leg workout. I was able to set 4 new PR’s!

Sunday, January 20 – A day of rest. My body really needed a rest day and that’s definitely what it got! I spent the entire day on the floor watching movies. It was lovely.

Monday, January 21 – A friend of mine expressing her support to me, again <3

Her text, along with a readers’ comment on a previous post, inspired the discussion at the bottom of this post

Tuesday, January 22 – This tweet from one of my readers, Jessica.

This tweet is very special to me and totally made my night. It’s really rewarded to see that my writing (and this post) can have that much of an affect on some of you

Wednesday, January 23 – My Mom. She’s always there for me, no matter how crabby I’ve been.

Thursday, January 24 – A sleep over with this munchkin! She’s coming over tonight and I am very very excited

Before I wrap up today’s Thankful Thursday post, I wanted to take some time to further discuss my weight gain as well as my after thoughts and feelings.

Recently I received the following comment from one of my readers:

“I know you keep on mentioning how you feel ecstatic about your recent weight gain, but did you ever experience a tiny, tiny inkling of a negative thought? I’m so happy that you feel really good about the gain, but I’m just curious as to whether it’s literally possible for someone to only feel 100% positive during the gaining process ! (I’m gaining as well, and I could never fathom how anyone could be so positive as you about the whole process!) I’m jealous!”

They’re right. I truly am ecstatic! But did I experience any negative thoughts afterward? No. However, did I anticipate negative thoughts to creep into my mind afterward? Most definitely! I want to be 100% honest with you and tell you that the morning before my weigh in took place I took some time to prepare myself for weight gain. As much as I want to gain weight, I knew from many experiences in the past that no matter how badly you want to gain weight, negative thoughts may still appear.

For an example, six years ago when I began my recovery I was weighed weekly and dealt with negative thoughts every single time the scale went up even though I so desperately wanted to regain my health and life back. It was just one of those emotions that kept occurring. Due to this experience, I knew last week before I was weighed that negative thoughts may appear, so I prepared myself. I did a lot of positive self talk, reminded myself about why I am doing this, and reflected on my many goals as well as my inspirations that keep me going on a daily basis. I think by prepping myself before my weigh in really did help me because when I saw that I gained 3 lbs. I was genuinely happy. Thankful to be exact.

All moments following my weigh in were positive, too. Did I expect this? No! I honestly expected that I would at least have some hesitation as the day progressed, but nothing. Nothing whatsoever.

When I looked in the mirror, I did not see a distorted Meg staring back at me like I did many years ago. My eyes weren’t tricking me and leading me to believe that those extra 3 precious lbs. were noticeable. In fact, gaining those extra 3 lbs. actually caused me to increase my food intake again and gain another 1.5 lbs. this week!

This is all very refreshing to me and incredibly exciting. I have felt no negative thoughts towards my weight gain over the past two weeks at all and for that, again, I am thankful.

It’s definitely becoming clearer each and every day to me that I am in full control of my life and an ED no longer has a home in my mind. My thoughts are no longer controlled by the damaging voices of the ED I once had. I can honestly say that I am proud of the 4.5 lbs. I’ve gained in the past two weeks and only want more to come!

What are you thankful for today?

Tomorrow is the 50th High Five Friday, so today is the last day for you to submit your high fives to be featured this week! Please send them in to me soon!
For more information please read here.

Love,

Meg xo

Tagged as: confidence, eating disorder, recovery, strength, thankful, thankful thursday, training, weight gain